Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I prayed to God for a heart to keep. Can I please keep this one? Please?
Photograph: Sun is shining. Winds are gently singing. Reginald and I are sitting on the front porch. He wouldn't talk to me. He wouldn't touch me.
...He wouldn't even look at me.
Did the chemo finally steal his mind? Was it sucking away his sanity, and not the cancer?
He starts to cry. HARD.
At that moment, I realized...
There is absolutely nothing I can do. .
My boyfriend is fighting BRAIN CANCER.
So what do I do from here on?
My soul is trembling, shaking and b-r-e-a-k-i-n-g.
Do I look at him as if he will die tomorrow? Or do I look at as if he is the strongest man alive?
Reginald came into my life so unexpected. He walked through the doors and I took a glance at my prince who I longed for. I smiled.
But I looked away.
I didn't want him.
I wanted someone else... we always do huh?
Next thing I know, Reginald and I are spending countless hours on the phone. My little Metro was fried every night. Even my parents were curious as to who the hell I was talking to so much.
I didn't even talk to my ex that much.
But Reginald was determined to steal my heart. End of story.
Then that day came. That day where I found my new handsome friend lying in a hospital bed. Awaiting for open brain surgery. He was smiling. But his eyes were SCREAMING with burning fear.
During his 5 (what seems like 2 days) hour surgery, I could NOT stop crying. I would NOT. I was dizzy from all the anguish. My guts were bubbling from despair. I was dying with distress.
I just wanted to hold his hand.
dreadful thought penetrated throughout my sore brain. But it was my heart that was swollen.
I walked around my parents' house, wanting to knock myself out.
Before I could, his older brother texted me and I felt the Heavens reign. Reggie had a successful surgery!
But that was just the beginning.....
From then on, I have been there for my Reggie. I been there when he was happy. I been there when he was sad. I was there when he lost all his hair. I was there when it grew back.
Meanwhile his 2-year-old baby boy plays. Dances. Giggles with his invisible buddies. Does RJ have any idea of what his father is going through?
It doesn't matter. Because one day Reginald will tell him. He simply lives for his baby boy.
"That's the only reason why I am alive. Because of my son."
Tomorrow at Henry Ford Hospital, Reggie will meet with doctors.
So until 10:25a.m... I'll sit.
Oh gosh, I wish I could heal my Honey.
Excuse me, while I wait...
Monday, August 30, 2010
5 hours later:
Is the cancer growing back?
"I really could use a wish right now..."
On August 31th, Reginald Sr. will take another baby step towards his destiny. Another MRI. At 6:30a.m.
"Plain and simple, I wish the doctors will tell me the MRI results are negative. I can't keep going through this."
But with brain cancer, does he really have a choice?
"They increased my dosage of chemo and I'm already starting to lose hair again. I hope this is just stress (laughs)."
But behind that smile and laughs, is he crying? Or is he a soldier preparing for the worst?
Then again, has the worst already made its presence?
"The worst thing that the doctors can tell me is that...
...the cancer is growing back."
Reginald is constantly looking at the clock. Counting down the hours. Down to the final hour when he walks through the hallways of Henry Ford Hospital downtown Detroit.
He has nothing. No wishes.
Monday, August 2, 2010
...perhaps God is fighting for Reggie.
"I can't even count how many times I prayed in that hospital bed."
While recovering, Reggie resided at Henry Ford Hospital downtown Detroit for an entire week.
7 days of pain.
7 days of agony.
7 days of questions.
7 days with God.
"I've seen that God was helping me out. He gave me another chance... (sighs) at life."
If there aren't any cures, how could anyone be so positive and strong-minded in the fight against the disease. It inevitably seems like the person's recovery and fate nestle inside the doctor's hands.
But it's not.
It's in God's hands. And He is pounding his fists for Reggie.
"Together, we will beat this. This disease does not control my life. God does. And I control my destiny."
Thursday, July 29, 2010
"I was very surprised on how many people came to see me at the hospital. And waited in the waiting room during my surgery."
Reggie's brain surgery lasted 5 hours. And he was WIDE awake the entire time.
The doctors finally removed the tumor. As for Reggie...
"I woke up and started seeing faces, and I thought for a second, I was on the breathing machine."
But he was just Reggie. Breathing on his own. Thank God.
"I had my family. I had people from the Star Factory. I had Monica Blaire. I had pretty much Twitter praying for me. (laughs.) Wow."
Even people who he didn't even knew existed were sending their prayers...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Imagine one day finding out that you have a disease. Imagine it being brain cancer.
You're only 22 years old.
"It's been the craziest experience. I have to be sick just to feel better."
Reginald D. Johnson Sr. is this young man's name. And he is determined to beat this so-called disease. Anaplasic Oligodendroglioma. huh?
Oh wait. No.
Best known as Brain Cancer.
"Truthfully, I was ULTRA surprised. Because I originally came in for a heart check-up. The doctors then said that they would have to do an MRI."
Note: MRI - Magnetic Resonance Imaging, help physicians visualize the internal structure of the human body.
Imagine your future depending on the one picture that tells it all.
"CLEARLY, They found the problem... Damn."
So you have the cancer. What do you do now? Do you go to bed and cry your sweet eyes out? Or do you just...
"The doctors straight up told me that I need to undergo surgical procedures. And then, um, lets see, (laughs), so I did it. I had no choice. I mean, did I really?"